


Ryan's Birthday Party

by emeraldcitydowntowngirl



Series: Eccentric Times At Barrington High [2]
Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Head Injury, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, ashley/sisky is the best thing ive ever done, blood mention, josh and tyler are the camera crew but they arent characters? if that makes sense, past student/teacher relationship, you just have to know that they're there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-11 18:11:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7902682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldcitydowntowngirl/pseuds/emeraldcitydowntowngirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ashley invites herself to Brendon's surprise birthday party for Ryan, Pete and Patrick unknowingly try something new, Gabe and William try to no avail to find some alone time, Joe and Victoria don't necessarily understand the concept of not getting people high before their surprise party, and Josh Dun, the camera guy, saves the day.</p><p>(But in all seriousness- the cameramen just mostly want to not film these people anymore.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ryan's Birthday Party

**Author's Note:**

> so. basically, we're just gonna pretend that the camera crew being around them is 100% normal... like uma, technically in this AU, the school year ended, so they stopped filming the teachers! and uma, the camera crew technically belongs to ashey/halsey now! 
> 
> well... yeah... but... for the sake of this particular story/this series... let's just say the camera crew being around them is totally normal. 
> 
> also- if you're just NOW checking this out and you've never read the original fic- everyone's ridiculous and extra
> 
> but it should be noted: this chapter takes place 2 months after the last chapter in the original fic. and i'll try to put in what they've been up to for the past 2 months in the story but if u have any ??s, let me kno!

_(Camera pans Ashley’s room- it’s very poorly lit, since she only has some Christmas lights on, but the cameras can pick up on her. She’s sitting on her bed, just singing with her guitar, but she sings in a very monotone voice. Very faintly, in the background, there’s some giggling coming from William’s room_.)

“I am bored, I am bored, I am really really really really bored, let me die, let me die, saying that I wanna die, that’s because I wanna die.” She sings, (to the tune of “Hold Me Down”, a song she recorded in another episode), as she strums her guitar.  But then, she ends up setting her guitar down, and sighing.

\---

ASHLEY: I’m ~~fucking~~ bored. I’m so ~~fucking~~ bored! God, my head is going to explode! I love living the city, I really do, but there’s only so much Battery City and Times Square and Central Park a woman can take. And plus, it’s like… 1 in the morning, and I’m gonna get murdered because I don’t wanna put pants on, but I can’t go out without pants! I hate my life!

\---

“Let’s go bother Bill.” She says, to the cameras, and she hops out of bed. Ashley and William’s apartment is super small, so when the cameras follow her out of her room, they quickly pan the place- it’s kind of bland, considering they’ve only been living here for 2 months, but it’s getting there. The book case is finally filling up (well, the book case is getting filled up with Ashley’s CDs.), and William put up some posters, but that’s about it.

She swings William’s bedroom open, and says, “Billiam, I’m bored!”

William very non-discreetly pulls his hand out of his pajama pants, and he shrieks “Ashley, what the ~~fuck~~! The sock is on the door, I’m talking to Gabe!”

The camera zooms in on a Garfield sock on the doorknob.

“Oooh, tell him I said hi! What are you guys talking about?” Ashley asks, and she hops into William’s bed, and cuddles up under his blanket. “Dude, go on. I wanna hear you dirty talk.”

“Shut up,” William says, to Ashley, and he glares at the cameras for a second before he goes back to Gabe, “I have to go, apparently. I’ll send you some pictures, okay? Love you.” and then he hangs up and throws his phone at the foot of his bed.

“I have to go, um… wash my hands.” William says, and Ashley scrunches up her nose. “Gross.”

\---

WILLIAM: After graduation, Ash and I decided to just move to New York right away. I was gonna stay with Gabe, but Ash wanted someone to come with her, and I wanted to get used to living in New York anyways, you know, scholarship and all, but… moments like these make me regret that decision… like, I was just about to…. And then… ( _sighs_ ) This sucks. And you know what doesn’t suck? Me. On ~~Gabe’s dick~~. Okay, that was bad, sorry.

\---

And William gets up to go to the bathroom, but then Ashley whines, and pulls him back down so that he’s lying next to her.

“Billiam, I’m so ~~fucking~~ bored. I’m sick and tired of waiting for something to happen, and I’m sick of this ~~fucking~~ apartment, and I need something to do!” She complains, before she looks over to the cameras, “Like, duh, I’m writing my album, preorder Badlands on iTunes, but besides that… I haven’t done anything fun. We don’t do anything fun! Ever!”

“That’s because I have work, Ash. You know, that thing people do to pay rent?” William asks, and Ashley rolls her eyes. “I work. I’m working right now!” and then she points to the cameras- for a documentary that only really works because no one acknowledges the camera being there, they acknowledge the cameras quite a bit.

“I know, but… you know. Anyways, I’m leaving for Chicago in, like, 4 days, so you can have the whole place to yourself, and-“ “Wait, you’re doing what?”

\---

ASHLEY: ( _frowns_ ) I miss Chicago. I love living in New York! But I don’t know… there’s so many rats in New York. ( _FOOTAGE: William and Ashley running around, screaming, because of a rat in the apartment, FOOTAGE: A rat that Ashley caught getting out of its trap and Ashley running towards the fire escape, and almost falling to her death, FOOTAGE: William cooing over a baby mouse, and the camera zooming into Ashley’s horrified expression_ ). And I barely even saw rats in Chicago! And I feel like I need to go home and, like, go back to my diner, and just eat a bunch of French fries, and puke out some lyrics.

\---

“I’m, er, leaving for Chicago…” William says, and he runs his hand through his hair. Until he realizes which hand he used, and he shudders a little, in disgust. But nevertheless, he continues, “Gabe invited me to this surprise party that Mr. Urie is holding for Mr. Ross. And normally I’d say no, but I’m not working the day before the party and the day after, and I haven’t ~~sucked his dick~~ in a month, Ash. One ~~fucking~~ month. And I miss him, you know? Not even the sex, I just miss _him_. So, I might go, and, like, take the train or something.”

And he expects that to be it, but then Ashley grins at him like she has a great idea, and suddenly he regrets ever telling her and not, like, leaving in the middle of the night.

“I’m coming with you.” Ashley says, and William slowly shakes his head, “Uh, no you’re not.”

“Uh, yes I am! Come on, it’ll be fun! You, me, and Gabe can have fun sleepovers, and I’m so bored in this apartment anyways, I gotta get out of here. Billiam Beckett and Ash- back in Chicago! I’m gonna go pack my bag!” She says, before she kisses Bill’s cheek, and she runs out of her room. William looks into the camera with a weary look on his face, and then he leans down to scream into a pillow.

\---

( _TIME SKIP- it’s two days later, and William and Ashley are getting off of the train from New York to Chicago. They both look thoroughly exhausted, and William has dried drool on the side of his face. Ashley’s holding some suitcases, with all of her writing stuff, and William’s bag is practically bursting at the seam with some textbooks for some pre-college reading._ )

“I need to take the next train back to New York.” Ashley says in a panicked voice, and she stops dead in her tracks. “I refuse to be in the same place with _Satan_ himself.”

And as much as William would like that, they’ve come too far now, so he only grabs Ashley’s hand and drags her towards the parking lot, and prays he doesn’t look like a creepy predator. “No, you’re coming. You already sat on an 18 hour train ride, and you’re not going back because you don’t want to run into Sisky, who, by the way, you might not even see!”

“Chicago isn’t that big of a city, Bill!” “Yes, it is!”

“And I go the same places he goes to! I don’t wanna see him, Bill, I’m going home!” She pries her arm out of William’s grasp and glares at him. “Knowing my luck, I’m going to run into him, and I know that the second I see his curly, beautiful, luscious hair, I’m gonna nut. And I don’t wanna nut over Sisky anymore!”

\---

ASHLEY: Yes, Sisky and I broke up. Please never mention his name to me again.

WILLIAM: Ash broke up with him, by the way. She didn’t want to deal with a long distance relationship, and when I told her that Gabe and I are in one, and are perfectly happy, she threw a shoe at me and told me that Gabe and I were gonna break up anyways, so…

ASHLEY: I didn’t mean it! He was just pissing me off!

\---

“ _Listen to me,_ Ashley Frangipane! You’re gonna stay at Gabe’s place with Gabe and I, and we’re gonna go to the diner together and you’re gonna write until you’re blue in the face, and get your inspiration, and we’re gonna have a good time!” William says, and Ashley crosses her arms. “Fine! Only because I need inspiration. No man can tell me what to do.” And then she slaps William across the face, and speed walks towards the parking lot, to where Gabe is waiting.

And William can barely make Gabe out, but he’s still there- he’s wearing some capri-type of shorts, and a polo shirt, and he looks so good that it almost makes William weak in the knees. And he’s grinning, since he can see William too, but that grin drops once he sees Ashley running towards him.

“MR. SAPORTA!” Ashley screams, and the camera zooms in on Gabe’s shocked face, when Ashley engulfs in a huge hug. Although, since Gabe’s pretty much an entire foot taller than her, her face just mostly smashes into his chest.

“I guess I should start calling you ‘Gabe’ to your face, huh? It’s just so weird, like you’re still my teacher to me, you know!” Ashley says conversationally, and Gabe blinks at her. “Uh… yeah, probably.”

\---

GABE: Yeah… I was totally psyched when I saw Ashley…

\---

William finally catches up to them, and he drops his bags to pull Gabe in for a kiss. It gets a little heated, since neither of them has seen each other for a good month or so, and it’s only until the cameras can pick up on Gabe’s tongue moving into William’s mouth, that Ashley laughs nervously and steps in between the two when she catches a bunch of people staring at them weirdly.

“Okay, guys, let’s keep it PG, huh?” She says, and the two part with a sigh.

“So… Ashley, what are you doing in Chicago?” Gabe asks, and he wraps an arm around William’s shoulder when William leans into him a little. And it’s kind of sweet, the way the camera can pick up on the way that William looks at Gabe, the way that his fingers curls around the hem of his shirt.

“Oh, Gabe didn’t tell you? Well…” She looks over to William and William explains it, “Ash just wants some extra inspiration for her album, and um, I’m super sorry I didn’t call, the reception was horrible but… you don’t mind Ash staying with us, right?” William asks, batting his eyelashes a little, and Gabe says reluctantly, “Of course not… your friends are my friends, right? Even if they are 7 years younger than me…” He mumbles this part under his breath, and Ashley says, snappily, “Maybe you should have thought twice before you hooked up with a 17 year old in the first place then.” And then she smiles sweetly at him, and hands him her heavy bags. “Can you put this in the back of the car for me, my whole body aches since I slept funny on the train. Thanks!”

\---

WILLIAM: ( _pretends to shoot himself_ )

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s a day later, and Vicky and Joe are walking down the steps from Ryan’s apartment with Ryan.)_

“…and he forgot my birthday, can you believe that?” Ryan says, before he crosses his arms across his chest. “Like, he totally stalked me for a year, found out the exact _time_ and _room_ I was born in, but he forgot what day I was born. And I don’t even like birthdays, unless it’s Lord Chris Martin’s birthday, but like…. Nothing!”

Joe and Vicky exchange knowing glances, but they don’t say anything, besides a measly “Wow… that sucks, Ryan.”

“I know!” He says, before he takes out his headphones and his phone. And then he totally ignores Vicky and Joe the rest of the way down, he just listens to his music, and he walks ahead of them. Vicky looks into the camera, and rolls her eyes.

\---

VICKY: I know that technically we’re just distracting Ryan and keeping him out of the apartment while Brendon and Patrick decorate but… I still hate him.

\---

The cameras follow the 3 of them out of the apartment complex, and when they get outside, the cameras zoom into Brendon, who’s hiding behind a tree, before zooming back out.

“Can you guys hurry up? It’s hot.” Ryan says, loudly, since he has his headphones in, and Vicky grits her teeth, unlocks the car doors, and pushes Ryan into the car. “Let’s go, RyRo.”.

Ryan’s pretty oblivious to Brendon being right in front of his face, but Ryan usually zones out when he listens to Coldplay, so it’s not so surprising. Brendon makes a heart with his hands, and he points to the car, and Vicky flips him off, before she drives away quickly.

“Mission Surprise Ryan is officially a-go!” Brendon says, before he practically trips on his shoelaces to get up to Ryan’s apartment. He pushes the cameramen out of the way, and the camera falls momentarily, but then it gets picked back up.

By the time that the cameras catch up to Brendon, he’s fumbling with the key to Ryan’s apartment, and Brendon turns to look at the camera, and waves the key in it. “I got a copy of Ryan’s key just for this occasion. Go hard or go home, bitch!”

He then unlocks the door to Ryan’s apartment, and slams the door shut, so that the cameras can’t come in.

\---

BRENDON: Do I think I’m taking Ryan’s surprise birthday party too seriously? Uh, ~~fuck~~ no!

PATRICK: _YES_. YES, I think Brendon’s taking Ryan’s surprise birthday party too seriousl. But it’s kinda cute, I guess _. I guess_.

\---

( _Patrick and Pete are driving over to Ryan’s apartment, and the cameramen are filming from the backseat, so you can’t see either of their faces. There’s also a cake in Pete’s lap_.)

“I didn’t know that Coldplay cakes existed. Why do Coldplay cakes exist?” Pete asks, and Patrick laughs a little, shrugging. “I don’t think they necessarily exist, I think that Brendon probably called and asked them to draw Chris Martin and write lyrics all over the cake.”

( _FOOTAGE: Brendon on the phone, asking the people at the bakery to draw Chris Martin and write lyrics all over the cake_.)

“Yeah, true.” Pete says, before he sighs, and turns the radio up a little. “I think it’s kind of sweet, in a way. I mean, not the whole stealing Ryan’s key in the middle of the night and copying it so that you can break in and decorate the apartment, but the whole surprise birthday party thing. Maybe I should do that for you…”

“It’s not necessarily a surprise any more is it?” Patrick asks, and Pete face palms. “Fuck.”

“Anyways- we sort of, y’know, live together so…. I mean, I’d totally go along with it! Like yeah, totally, I’ll go smoke with Vicky and Joe and let you decorate the place!” Patrick says, and then he pauses for a second, and then he says, “That’s a bad idea. I can see a disaster.”

“What, Ryan getting high with Vicky and Joe? It can’t be as bad as Brendon falling down the stairs and breaking his leg.” Pete says, and Patrick hums in agreement. “True…”

After that, they mostly sit in silence, save for Patrick singing along to some songs on the radio, until they get to Ryan’s. Pete steps out, balancing the cake with one hand, and then he takes Patrick’s hand in his, and they walk into the building.

\---

PATRICK: Where are Pete and I in our relationship? Um…

PETE: I mean, things are kinda…

PATRICK: Well, I mean…

PETE: It’s not boring…

PATRICK: We just run out things to talk about since we’re always together, you know?

PETE: I mean, like, there’s only so much sex a guy can take before you just wanna sleep in… holy shit, I can’t believe I said that.

PATRICK: Like, most nights we fall asleep in our pajamas. We haven’t ~~fucked~~ in…

PETE: We haven’t had sex in, like, 5 days.

PATRICK: 5 days?

PETE: Like, we just sit around and do nothing. But it’s fun… kinda…

PATRICK: Like, Pete and I love each other, duh, but I think we just need something to reinvigorate our relationship. BDSM, or something, without all of the scary whips and face masks.

PETE: Wait, Patrick suggested BDSM?!

\---

When they get up to Ryan’s place, Brendon’s already in full motion- he’s blaring Justin Bieber, and he’s wiping the (not glass, by the way) coffee table with some Windex. There’s a bag full of party decorations on top of the dining room table, and there’s bowls of chips already set. Dottie is running around, and she stops at Patrick’s feet, so Patrick leans down, and coos, “Aww, what a good girl! Who’s a good girl? You’re a good girl!”

\---

PETE: …I can get down with Patrick petting me and calling me a good g-boy! I meant boy! Well, actually…

\---

“Patrick, shut the fuck up.” Brendon says, and Patrick looks up at Brendon and glares at him. “I’m just saying hi, geez!”

“I know, but I don’t have time for this! Come on, help me clean up!” Brendon says, and Patrick gets back up on his feet with a huff, and Dottie runs off.

“Okay but _what_ do you want us to do?” Patrick asks once he glances around- he sort of has to give Brendon some credit, the place looks amazing.

“Um… just help me put these decorations on the ceiling? And then just throw some confetti on every surface you can possibly find.” Brendon pauses for a second, and then adds, “And also, can you clean up the Orbeez in the bathtub?”

“Orbeez in the… okay, actually, I can see that.” Pete says, and Brendon grins. “Yeah, they’re great!”

\---

BRENDON: I love Orbeez. ( _FOOTAGE: Brendon, fully naked, in Ryan’s Orbeez-filled bathtub, giggling with glee. The camera moves until it lands on Ryan, who looks pissed, sitting in the corner of the bathroom. “Why did you buy this?” “Why not?”)_

\---

Patrick sighs, ignoring Brendon, and then looks over to Pete, “Get on your hands and knees.” He says, and Pete’s eyes bulge. “What?!”

Patrick blinks. “I’m short… and I need a boost. So get on your hands and knees, and I’ll just… you know…” He trails off, and Brendon is out of frame, but he’s literally cackling.

\---

BRENDON: ( _mimicking Patrick- this sounds bossy_ ) Get on your hands and knees, Pete! ( _mimicking Pete- this sounds downright hysterical_ ) What?!?!?!?! Me!??!!??!?

\---

“Oh! Duh! Um, okay.” Pete says, before he drops to his knees. And even Patrick’s eyes widen a little at this, but he clears his throat and looks over to Brendon, who’s literally red in the face with trying to stifle his laughter. “Are you okay?”

Brendon waves him off, and he continues cleaning the wooden coffee table with Windex.

And it’s pretty much the same thing for a couple of hours, so there’s a time lapse- in it, Pete crawls around the room with Patrick telling him where to go, Brendon on the floor rolling over in laughter at Pete’s dismay, Brendon spilling some soda on the floor and crying over it, Patrick having to comfort him, Pete setting up the food, and Patrick putting up (even more) Coldplay posters. The time lapse ends when the doorbell rings, and Brendon looks up from drinking wine straight from the bottle. “The first guest!”

He swings the door open, and Gabe walks in holding William’s hand, and Ashley tags behind them, with her notebook. “Hi, Mr. Urie!” She says chirpily, and she screams when she sees Patrick. “PATRICK!”

\---

BRENDON: ( _says sarcastically_ ) Wow, I really appreciated Gabe’s call to tell me that he was bringing my past students to Ryan’s surprise birthday party. It’s not like we’re gonna get ~~shitfaced~~ and it’s not like Vicky is bringing weed or anything! ( _says normally_ ) …well actually, I don’t really give a ~~shit~~ , but still!

\---

Patrick looks up from petting Pete on the couch (at this point, Pete’s head in Patrick’s lap), and he glances over to Gabe with a questioning look, before he pushes Pete’s face out of his crotch, and he says, “Hey Ashley… I thought you were calling me Mr. Stump…”

“Yeah, Patrick, but you’re not my teacher anymore! Wow, I have so much to discuss with you the production on my album!” She says, before she flops down next to Pete and Patrick on the couch. “Oh, hi Mr. Wentz. Do you wanna read some of my poems?”

Pete looks up from his new spot on the couch, aka face first into the pillows, and he rubs his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Whatcha got?”

While Pete, Patrick, and Ashley talk about Ashley’s album (Preorder Badlands on iTunes), William and Gabe sort of settle down at the dining room table. “Sorry Ashley had to come with us.” William says, before he strokes Gabe’s face a little, “She just gets really anxious about Sisky, and she didn’t wanna risk running into Sisky if she left the apartment but I mean… we can hook up in Mr. Ross- I mean, um, _Ryan’s_ room.” He says, before he says in a low voice, “We can do that _thing_ you like a lot… I brought the fluffy handcuffs.”

“You brought the fluffy handcuffs?” Gabe says, excitedly, and William nods, pulling him in for a heated kiss.

\---

WILLIAM: (crosses his arms over his chest) What? The normal handcuffs hurt my wrists. I _like_ the fluffy pink ones, for your information.

PETE: Okay… okay, this whole BDSM thing is all in my head, right? I mean, Patrick’s a bossy guy! And I mean, when he tops, he likes calling me names, but that’s, like, hot in bed! But he doesn’t wanna be like my… _master_ , right? I don’t know if I wanna be called ‘emo cumslut’ outside of the bedroom. Thoughts?

\---

( _Vicky, Joe, and Ryan are all in Vicky’s car, on the way to Ryan’s place. One of the cameramen texts Brendon to let him know that they’re on their way. Vicky’s driving, but they’re all pretty much stoned. And they’re playing Coldplay, but that’s a given.)_

“You guys,” Ryan says slowly, swaying a little to the music, as he brings a knife-full of yogurt to his mouth, “I can’t believe Brendon forgot my birthday.”

“I love birthdays. Mine is in 2 days, Vicky, are you gonna throw a surprise party for me too?” Joe asks, taking a bite out of a cookie, and Vicky giggles, “Joey, you’re not supposed to say that we’re throwing a surprise birthday party for Ryan!”

“I’m Ryan!” Ryan says, as he points the plastic knife he was using to scoop out his yogurt at Joe. “You’re not Ryan! Wait… I’m not even Ryan, I’m George!”

Ryan’s jaw drops and he gasps, holding onto his yogurt container tightly. “My life is a lie!”

“No, no, baby, you’re Ryan.” Vicky says, and she leans over so that she can take some of Joe’s weed filled cookie. “Who’s George?”

“I’m George!” Ryan shrieks, and Vicky shushes him a little, as she pulls into a parking space. “Okay, okay, George, let’s go inside now.”

“My bathtub… it’s filled with Orbeez….” He says, and Joe steps out of the door and he lets Ryan lean on him a little. “Orbeez are so much fun, you know? I pretended like I didn’t like them but I secretly did. I took a bath in them, and I listened to some Coldplay, and it felt good. Brendon knows best.” He says, before he gasps, “Hey, hey, isn’t that a song?”

“Brendon knows best?” Vicky asks, as they slowly make their way up the stairs- Joe is on one side of Ryan, and Vicky is on the other, and Ryan’s arms are wrapped around their shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, yeah… Brendon knows best, listen to your Brendon, it's a scary world out there…”

“Oh ~~shit~~ , the song from Rapunzel!” Joe says, and Ryan shakes his head, “It’s called Tangled, I’ve watched Tangled soooo many times. Zachary Levi… can get it.”

( _FOOTAGE: Ryan wiping away his tears as he sings along to a song from the Tangled movie. Brendon is next to him, smoothing his hair, and handing him tissues. “ ~~Fuck~~ , you know? Rapunzel really did that when she took a chance and left the tower!”)_

“Hey, can we watch Tangled when we get up to my apartment? Can we watch Tangled and listen to Coldplay at the same time?” Ryan asks, before he looks into the camera and says, “Woah, I can see my reflection!”

They reach the last step before they get to Ryan’s place, and Ryan reaches into his pocket for his key. “Cotton candy, wanna open the door for us?” He asks Josh, the cameramen with them, and there’s an off camera sigh, “Technically I’m not here-“ “Bro, don’t say that, you’re ~~fucking~~ with my head.” Joe says, and then Josh sighs again, before there’s an extra hand in frame. Josh holds his breath as the lock unclicks, and-

\---

( _From inside the apartment- everyone is in hiding places, and the lights are dimmed, so that Ryan doesn’t see the decorations from the second he walks into the place. There’s some excited chatter coming from Ashley and William, who are hiding behind Gabe, who’s hiding behind the couch, but then Brendon shushes them, so that they stop. Travie, who came a little later, is holding a party popper_.)

The lock unclicks, and Vicky and Joe walk Ryan into the apartment- Ryan’s humming another Tangled song under his breath, and when he turns on the lights, everyone jumps up at the same time, and screams, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RYAN!” (in the background, William and Ashley both accidentally say ‘Mr. Ross’)

“AAAH!” Ryan screams, and he jumps up in surprise- suddenly there’s people cheering and a confetti and Patrick turns the stereo on so there’s Coldplay playing, and Ryan gets so overwhelmed that he trips trying to take everything in, and he falls right to the ground, but first, he hits his head right on the side of the coffee table.

“HOLY ~~SHIT~~!” Brendon shrieks, and he kneels down and he’s about to turn Ryan over so that he can look at his face and make sure that he’s okay, but then Travie says, “Wait, don’t do that! You’re not supposed to move someone in case you break their neck!” “I’M NOT GONNA BREAK HIS NECK, I’M HIS BOYFRIEND!” “It has nothing to do with that, Brendon!”

Even with Ryan still mostly face down on the ground, although he’s sort of sideways, the blood pouring steadily out of Ryan’s head is still very visible. “PATRICK, HE’S BLEEDING!”

“WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME?!”

“I DON’T KNOW, YOU’RE THE MOST RELIABLE AND STABLE ONE OUT OF US ALL!”

William looks over Gabe’s shoulder, in an attempt to see what was happening, now that everyone was running around screaming, but the second he saw the blood, he passed out clean- Gabe catches him before he can hit the ground the same way that Ryan did. “OH ~~SHIT~~! WILLIAM!”

“BILLIAM!” Ashley shrieks, and then everyone starts screaming about William, but Brendon is still trying to mop up Ryan’s blood with his hands, and it’s a whole mess. Even the cameramen look freaked out, and Josh puts his camera down to scream, “EVERYONE SHUT UP!”

The other cameraman, Tyler, films Josh as he gets up onto the table, “EVERYONE CALM THE ~~FUCK~~ DOWN! JUST LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? Okay, okay, someone get me some bath cloths, now! Is William breathing?”

\---

JOSH: This is so weird, being in front of the camera… Ty, we’re probably gonna get fired. ( _Tyler: Dude, just keep going, they probably don’t wanna hear that we let Ryan die_ ) Okay, true! Anyways- before I wanted to be a camera man, I wanted to be a first aid responder! True story! ( _Tyler: Aw, you’re so talented_ ) ( _Josh blushes_ ) Yeah, I know. _(Tyler: Okay, babe, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here_ )

\---

“Yeah, Bill’s breathing.” Gabe says, from his spot on the ground, right next to William and Ashley, and he has concern written all over his face (as he should).

Patrick turns to Pete and says, “Pete, you go get the bath cloths!” and Pete nods obediently, and he runs into the bathroom to get them. “Okay, okay, ~~fuck~~ , what else, Josh?!”

“Okay, we’re gonna call 9-1-1, right? And we’re gonna describe what’s happening, and-“ “JOSH, RYAN IS HIGH! WHAT IF HE DIES, JOSH?!” “Well, he’s not gonna die, because Patrick’s calling 9-1-1, right? Let’s just remain calm, we’re gonna try to stop the bleeding, and we’ll deal with William in a se—William’s not bleeding, right?”

Ashley shakes her head, and she wipes away some tears as she says, “No, Bill isn’t bleeding.”

“Okay, so—Pete, give me those.” Josh says, taking the bath cloths from Pete’s hands. He’s shaking a little, and he leans into Patrick, curling his arms around Patrick’s waist as Patrick dials 9-1-1.

Everyone is mostly quiet, watching as Josh presses the cloth firm against Ryan’s head. Patrick’s talking to the emergency responders, and his soft voice can be heard, but you can’t necessarily make out what he’s saying- you just know that he’s saying it.

“Yo… this is crazy!” Joe says, to himself, and Travie shakes his head, looks into the camera, and mouths something along the lines of ‘I need to smoke whatever he’s smoking’

“Wait, don’t we have to wake William up?” Gabe asks, and he grabs the bottle of wine that Victoria was drinking and drinks from it too. “Nah, we can just wait for him to get up actually, as long as he’s breathing, he’ll be fine. He didn’t hit his head or anything, right?”

“Nah, I caught him.” Gabe says, and Josh nods. “Then he’ll wake up in a couple of minutes. Patrick, how are we doing?”

“They’re coming.” Patrick says, and he moves a little too close to Ryan, and Brendon shrieks “STEP AWAY FROM HIM!” before he goes back to rubbing Ryan’s back in an attempt to wake him up. 

They sit in silence for a while, save for the Coldplay music that’s been on the entire time, and then Ashley sniffles, “Can we turn off this song? It always gets me lit and I don’t know if I can get lit right now.”

\---

( _It’s about an hour later, and William stirs in Ryan’s bed a little, before he wakes up_ )

“…Gabe?” William asks in a rough voice, and Gabe jumps up from his spot on the foot of the bed to hand William a bottle of water. “Bilvy, baby, are you feeling okay?” He asks, uncapping the bottle before pressing the bottle in his hands.

“Yeah-yeah-yeah, but what happened? I fell asleep?” William asks, before he rubs at his eyes a little, “Wait, Ryan! Is he okay?”

“Um, I’m not really sure, everyone just left.” Gabe says and he brushes some of William’s hair out of his face as William takes a sip of the water. “Ashley had to drive them after the ambulance took Ryan and Brendon, y’know, being the only sober one and all.” He says, and William nods a little.

“Oh. Makes sense. So, it’s just me and you?” William asks, sitting up in the bed a little. Gabe nods slowly, and he moves over a little so that he can wipe some sweat off of William’s forehead, “Yeah, technically. Do you want some food? I can feed you something if you don’t wanna-“

“ _Gabe_.” William emphasizes, and Gabe pauses from rambling to say, “ _William_.”

“We’re all alone.” William says, before he moves a little, so that he’s sitting in Gabe’s lap, straddling him. “Well, we’re all alone besides Tyler, who will leave us in peace, won’t he?” William glances over the cameras, for a second, before leaning down to kiss Gabe. “Come on, baby, I brought the fluffy handcuffs.”

“But you… but you… you passed out! You’re not feeling well, Bill!” Gabe sputters, but then William starts rotating his hips a little, and he says, a little out of breath, “Well, I do feel a little light headed, but that’s because all of the blood is rushing to my dick.” He giggles, and then he looks over to the cameras and says, “Alright, Tyler, time to leave. And wait, can you go and get  the fluffy handcuffs for me? They’re in my bag. Also, some chips, because I’m kind of hungry.”

\---

GABE: Do I feel bad about ~~fucking~~ my boyfriend in Ryan’s bed? Not really. Do I feel bad about using his lube? Also not really. Do I feel about—no, not really.

WILLIAM: I don’t ~~fuck~~ with head injuries ( _shudders_ ) And it was scary! And I’ve never seen anything more stressful happen in my life, and everyone was screaming, and I kinda just… passed out.

\---

( _Everyone is sitting around in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting for Ryan. Ashley is scribbling into her notebook, and she has her headphones in. Joe is sleeping, and his head is resting on Vicky’s chest, and Vicky’s leaning on Travie’s shoulder, watching an episode of something on Netflix with him. Brendon’s in the room with Ryan, and Pete and Patrick are sitting together, talking_ )

“Wait, you thought what?” Patrick asks, before he turns bright red, “No, I wasn’t… I wasn’t trying to _Dom_ you…or whatever.”

“Oh, so you wanna be the Sub?” “ _No_ , Pete! I don’t… BDSM isn’t a kink for me. I mean, I can get behind some casual bondage stuff and breath play-“

 “ _Breath play_?”

“-and okay, sometimes I think it’d be hot if I gagged you-“

“Wow, Patrick, that’s cold.”

 “-but I don’t know… I think we’re kind of equals when it comes to sex, right? I like both topping and bottoming, you like both topping and bottoming, sometimes I’m bossy, sometimes you’re bossy… It works.” Patrick says, before he gulps. “But I’m willing to try new things, if you want to. Do you think it’s hot when I boss you around?”

“Well yeah, but that’s because you’re hot in general.” Pete says, and Patrick scoffs, “Pete, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not, though! You’re hot, babe. Everything you do turns me on… practically. And anyways, I wanna try all of those things you like too, breath play sounds like something I could get down with. And… I mean, it’d be hot if you called me Daddy when we ~~fucked~~ once in a while.”

Patrick blinks. “A Daddy kink? Seriously?”

“I don’t wanna be your dad, but… _uh, Daddy_!” He moans, mimicking what he wants to hear, and Patrick covers his hand with his mouth, and exclaims, “Pete!”, but then he laughs a little, so Pete laughs with him, “It’s hot!” and then he says more seriously, “I wanna experience everything with you, Rick. And not even sex wise. I love you, I wanna spend, like, the rest of my life-“ “Pete, do _not_ propose to me in a hospital. _Don’t!_ ” “I’m not! I’m not, I’m just saying, I love you and even if things get, er, boring sometimes, I just don’t want you to forget that I’m ridiculously into you, and everything you’re about, and I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore but… yeah.” Pete says, and Patrick smiles softly, and kisses the side of his face chastely. “I love you too,” and then whispers in Pete’s ear, “ _Daddy_.”

“Patrick, now you’re just teasing me!” “I would never, _Daddy_! Are you gonna punish me for teasing you, _Daddy_?”

Travie overhears that last part, and gives the cameras a grimace.

\---

TRAVIE: I have no words.

\---

Brendon emerges with Ryan a few minutes later, and nothing much has changed except for the fact that Ryan has a huge bandage wrapped around his head, and there’s dried blood all over his shirt.

“Good news, peasants!”  Brendon says, and Patrick looks into the camera and rolls his eyes, and then Brendon says “Ryan is okay! He just has to take some antibiotics and he can’t drink for another 3 days, but he’s okay! The doctor said he should relax a little, but I say fuck the doctor, and let’s party!”

“Mmm, let’s not fuck the doctor, and let’s follow their rules?” Patrick asks, and Brendon rolls his eyes. “You’re boring. Let’s listen to Coldplay and get wasted!”

“Brendon, I just kinda wanna listen to Coldplay and chill with Dottie…” Ryan says, and he ruffles his hair a little, so Brendon sighs in defeat. “Alright, alright. Ash, are you driving us?”

“Yeah, sure!” Ashley says, before she pulls out her headphones. “I can’t believe this- you guys were all my teachers last year, and now I’m your designated driver! Wow!”

And then practically everyone looks into the camera with a defeated sigh- none of them can believe that Ashley Frangipane would be hauling them around either… but then again, none of them, besides Joe, knew about Gabe and William dating last year for the longest time, and that happened, so it pretty much proves that anything can happen.

\---

RYAN: So, Brendon did remember my birthday, but… then I hit my head and lost, like, 16 pounds of blood, so... it was one of my better birthdays, to be honest

BRENDON: So, I’m never planning anything ever!

\---

_(Ryan and Brendon are walking into their apartment, just as Bill and Gabe are leaving- Bill’s limping a little.)_

“Woah, Bill, are you okay? I thought Gabe caught you on the way down, I didn’t know you hurt your leg!” Brendon says, and William laughs nervously, “Oh, uh, yeah. Right. I hit my leg. Totally.”

Brendon gives them odd glances, but he doesn’t really question it. “Well… alright. Goodnight, guys!”

Both William and Gabe wave goodbye to them, and then they giggle to themselves on the way down the staircase- Ryan whispers to Brendon, “I bet they had sex on our bed.”

“What? But William is sick, and…. ~~Fuck~~ , you’re probably right.” He pauses for a second, and then he gasps, “Wait, our bed?!”

“Well… I mean, you are over a lot. And your shit practically takes up my apartment anyways.” Ryan says, before he leans against Brendon a little,  “Let’s talk about it later, when I’m not thoroughly exhausted.”

“But you can’t sleep!” Brendon whines, and he opens the door- Ryan’s blood was mopped up, and they could tell that William and Gabe tried to clean everything up in the 10 minutes that they weren’t having sex, so Ryan lays on the couch, and he pulls Dottie into his lap when she comes up to him.

“Fine, we can talk about it when,” he motions his head over to the cameraman, “isn’t here. And hey, did you get rid of the Orbeez?”

“No. I’m sorry, I know you don’t like them, but I was too busy, y’know, _planning your surprise birthday party_.” Brendon says, and Ryan shakes his head, “No! I, um… I actually like it. I wanna bathe in Orbeez, I sorta lied to you… maybe it’s all of the drugs still in my system, but I lied about hating it. It was fun, I did it when you left. I mean, it’ll be even more fun once Lord Chris Martin accompanies us with his angelic voice, but still.” Ryan says, and Brendon grins, and flops down on the couch next to him, and kisses Ryan’s cheek. “You’re cute. Happy birthday, Curious George.” “ _That’s_ a new one.” “Yeah, you like it?” “Not really.” “Well, sucks to be you. Want some Coldplay cake?”

\---

( _William and Ashley are getting breakfast at the diner, before they get back on the train to New York. Ashley is (still) scribbling in her notebook, and they’re just about to get up, but then someone with curly hair walks in, and Ashley shrieks and slides down her seat_ )

“Ash? Are you okay?” William asks, before he turns around to see what she was looking at. And it’s Sisky.

“Was this your doing, Bill? ~~Fuck~~ you, man!” Ashley says, and William shakes his head and holds his hands out like he’s surrendering, “I didn’t, I swear! I’m gonna go say hi, okay? I won’t tell him you’re here if you don’t want me to.”

“No, tell him that I’m here in Chicago, but I didn’t run into his beautiful self so I’m not here, and-“ but Ashley can’t even finish her sentence, because Sisky walks up to their booth, probably because he saw their telltale camera crew. Ashley’s officially under the table, so Sisky can’t even see her, and the waitress took away their food, so he has no idea that she’s even there.

“Bill!” Sisky says, before he sits down across from William, “Dude, why didn’t you tell anyone you were in Chicago?!”

“I-I figured you were in California already! And I was only here cause Gabe and I haven't, um, _done_ it in a while, so.” William explains, and Sisky winces, “Dude, come on.” “Sorry, sorry! I’m just used to saying these things so freely because Ash-“ and then he pauses when Sisky frowns.

\---

SISKY: I miss Ashley more than I hate the stupid Winnie the Pooh Grand Adventure movie. Which is a lot!

ASHLEY: I do miss Sisky and I’m so… I’m so embarrassed that I let him go that fast. I talk about experiencing life, and when I wanted to move to New York I wanted to hook up and meet new people, and I _did_ , but then I realized that… I don’t know. I don’t care about random hook ups, I just wanna be with ~~fucking~~ Adam Siska, who’s across the country! And I let him go for no good reason, and it _sucks_.

\---

“Is she um… is Ashley here?” Sisky asks in a small voice, and William opens his mouth to answer, but then Ashley peaks her head out from under the table and says, “Hi Adam…”

Sisky jumps up in surprise, and he says, “Bill?!”, like he’s accusing William of not telling him anything, (well, he is, actually), but then Ashley shushes him. “It wasn’t Bill’s idea, it was mine. Can we… um, can we talk? Not in front of the cameras?” and then she glances over to the cameras and mouths ‘sorry’

And then they walk into the one stall bathroom for a while (like _a while_. William just raises his eyebrows when he looks at the time, and then he goes back to reading.), but when they come back, William automatically knows that something went down in there.

“Geez! Did you guys even talk?” He asks, as Ashley shrugs, and presses a kiss to Sisky’s jaw. “We talked a little before! And we talked during… and we talked after, when Sisky ate-“ and then William puts his fingers in his ears and starts singing to block out whatever Ashley has to say. But Sisky and Ashley look happy enough, so William figures either they made up, or they’re dating again.

After that, Sisky drives them over to the train station (Gabe slept in, so he couldn't), and they almost miss the train because Sisky and Ashley wouldn’t stop making out, but they eventually get back on said train, and make their way back to New York City.

“So… you and Sisky?” William asks, and Ashley smirks. “We’re _friendly_. We’re not dating, but I mean… when you have a connection like Sisk and I have, y’know, it’s hard not to make out with him. Anyways, I practically filled the notebook, what with Mr. Wen- I mean, _Pete_ helping me out, and sitting in the hospital, so I’m full of inspiration!”

And William has nothing else to add, so he just smiles and puts his headphones in to continue reading his book.

\---

ASHLEY: Preorder Badlands on iTunes!

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN! luv u george <3
> 
> also this was for the 3.4 people who wanted a sequel! welcome... it's here!  
> sorry if this was bad.... i havent written these characters in like 3 months and i felt kinda out of touch but.. idk!
> 
> also i cant believe im saying this but... if you want, you can leave a request for something that you wanna see, and i'll see if i can fit it into this universe! i love/d writing eccentric, and if school isnt /too/ too hectic, i'll see what i can do!


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